Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
