Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize