haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize