I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
