Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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