I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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