Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
