this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
