I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
