I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your cock deserves a montage
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
