Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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