And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
