WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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