he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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