.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
