let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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