remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
