I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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