before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
