I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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