she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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