In the future we'll all be gay
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
