I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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