in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
