I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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