He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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