I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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