I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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