He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
