Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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