I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
