so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
