I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
