I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
