Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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