I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So vagazzling was a success
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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