He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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