I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Randomize