i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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