I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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