I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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