I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
