Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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