He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
