For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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