tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
