U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
