the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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