Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's no shave November. This is our time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
