Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
