my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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