You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
