in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
