Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
