Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
