Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
