Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
